Having a Side Lover vs Being In A Polyamorous Relationship

Having a Side Lover vs Being In A Polyamorous Relationship

Side lover is now a term that is seen daily on every social network. It’s either people are preaching against having a side lover or two side lovers are fighting over a male or a female.

Polyamory is a form of relationship seen in Africa, and few parts of Europe. Some religions condone polyamory, while others frown at it.

The word, ‘polyamory’ can be traced to Greek and Latin, with poly meaning ‘many, or several’ in Greek and amor loosely translating to ‘love’.

A Polyamorous Relationship

Polyamory is a practice of having romantic relationships with several persons with every partner knowing.

This is a form of non-monogamy that reeks of ethics and consensus.

Those who practise it view that exclusivity in romantic and sexual relationships do not exist.

Polyamory, over the years, have been confused with other kinds of non-monogamous relationships.

Some have confused polyamory with the swinger communities, but they are different sides of a coin, with very little similarities.

Let’s take an example of polyamory to distinguish from other kinds of non-monogaous forms of relationships.

A man is in relationship with Lady A, and they start a romantic relationship. He sees Lady B, and falls for her too. He has to seek the permission and consent of Lady A before he goes for Lady B.

Or a Lady sees Man A. She is swept off her feet by him, and a sexual relationship blossoms. She sees Man B, and likes him too. She has to tell Man A before she can start bedding Man B.

There must be a consensus before this form of relationship can work.

The polyamorous relationship focuses on loving and treating all your sexual partners equally both emotionally and sexually , and having all of them know that you are not monogamous.

While the swinger community, though different from having a side lover, focuses on sexual non-monogamy and emotional monogamy.

Here, the person beds a lot of people, without having emotional attachment to any, except one. The person he or she has the emotional attachment knows that he or she loves sleeping with others.

Though it is known that a person involved with polyamorous relationship might also decide to be a swinger, and a swinger might break the emotional monogamy and develop deep emotional attachments with their  swinging buddies.

The side lover train involves having relationships with many others, without them knowing that you have a main lover. This, to a lot, is seen as cheating and infidelity because no consensual agreement was reached, and this has scattered a lot of fruitful relationship.

Somehow this trend is getting acceptable to the society, with the number of people taking it lightly, increasing daily.

Having a side lover is a refurbished way of saying you are cheating.

It’s now, to many, seen as having an assistant lover to aid the main lover.

In most cases, the lovers think they are exclusive, but unknown to them, a lot of others grace that bed.

In some cases, having a side lover might look like polyamory, when the person in question lets his partners know that they are not the only one in his or her life, but it’s not.

You might ask why.

Polyamory, as earlier defined, is having various lovers, with all of them knowing that you are not exclusive, and having similar emotional and sexual attachments to all. No one should feel inferior or superior.

Having a side lover offers not that.

Looking at both, it can be seen that they are similar because it bears no resemblance to textbook monogamy that has the person faithful to a partner both sexually and emotionally.

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